The first match of the Multiversal Wrestling Federation: Alex Louis Armstrong and Lady Bee-Slaughter go at it in a ring composed of a giant bee, surrounded by bees that are on fire, or zombies… or both! Truly a battle of epic proportions.
DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!
The letters M. W. F appear from darkness, bright steel and riveted, and slowly they fade away, opening into what can only be described as complete, abject chaos. The ground is a distant memory, so far below it is almost completely out of sight. Just a green smudge. And all around, there are bees. Thousands upon thousands of bees. All different shapes and sizes, they appear to fall into three major categories.
First, there are the zombie bees. They are bright green, and are buzzing with a distinctive 'Bzzzzzzzzains' to their flight. They continue on in packs, straight forwards, pausing only to eat and infect the other bees.
Second, there are bees that are on fire. And yet they don't seem to by dying, these bees are somewhat more frantic, burning and buzzing and flying around in a screaming haze of crazy.. bees. They are also setting the other bees on fire.
Finally, there are the Giant Bees. And it is atop one of these that the camera settles. It's huge body buzzing along through the chaos. Judge Mills Lane is standing atop it, keeping the bees back with the sheer power of his glare. He is tapping his watch impatiently. And in the background there is a second giant bee buzzing alongside the 'ring' in which are settled- wearing beekeeping equipment (and thus obviously completely safe) Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond, and Miles Prower. The camera now swoops to them, to give their opening thoughts.
"I'm Johnny Gomez." "I'm Nick Diamond!" "And I'm Miles Prower." Nick begins to say, "Welcome to Celebriiityyy-" Johnny facepalms, cutting his friend off. "No, Nick, wrong show." "..Oh yeah, sorry, ahehe." "Welcome to the Multiverse Wrestling Federation! We've got a Hell of a fight lined up for you tonight fans. Our guest announcer, Mr. Prower, will explain."
Miles, adjusting his headset, would nod at his fellow announcers. "Yes indeed, gentlemen. Tonight, we've lined up a fight between the tremendous Alexander Armstrong, and.." Miles stops, blinking at his paper. "..Lady.. Bee-Slaughter. ..I sure hope all those bees aren't here for *support*." "Lady Bee-Slaughter?" "Yeah." "..Huh. Well, anyway!" Nick seems to be trying to figure out why the hell 'Lady Bee-Slaughter' has so many bees here to support her, while Johnny goes on to announce who's coming into the ring.
And, suddenly, Armstrong leaps into view from off-screen. His muscular upper body rippling, and perfect. Though he appears to be wearing a pair of obviously fake antennae atop his shiny skull. The Strong Arm Alchemist hrms, looking around at the buzzing chaos, and then looks to the judge. Suddenly, a microphone is in his hand, and he points off the -other- side of the screen, at something unseen.
"LADY BEE-SLAUGHTER!" He declares loudly, "I think you know that this is going to end badly for you, because I, Alex Louis Armstrong, also known as the Strong Arm Alchemist, have used the many great techniques passed down through my family for generations in order to call you out to this match up today! This is not the beautiful body of a man who will allow your bee-hating rampages to go on any longer!"
Around his head are dancing… very small bees, painted pink, apparently, and waving pom-poms as they dance and cheer 'Arm-Strong Arm-Strong' in tiny little voices. "That is why I have used the ancient Armstrong Family Bee Keeping technique, famous for its incredible results, to prepare this ring today! I will demonstrate the bee-utiful method of alchemy that will be your downfall, BEE SLAUGHTER!"
"Think again, alchemist-man!" … No one ever said Envy was creative in his insults. Is it a him? Androgynous as the homunculus is, and under the current 'stage name' of /Lady/ Bee-Slaughter, it probably doesn't matter. The Lady leaps into the ring from the unseen place pointed to by Armstrong, doing a few aerial flips - such a show off - before landing.
But this isn't the usual Envy! Not as far as appearances go. What's the point of going as Lady Bee-Slaughter if you don't look the part? And so he… she… whichever… is clad in a brown version of the usual outfit, skort and all, striped to match the pattern of a palm tree's trunk. The hair is unmodified - it matches well enough already. Instead of the red triangle on the headband, there is the small image of a coconut, and two larger coconut decorations hand from the sides of the Lady's head. Last but not least, she(?) is pervaded by the strong scent of bug spray.
A short moment is spent to simply glare at the bees gathered in the area. Aren't the giant ones enough? Do there really need to be zombie bees, or flaming bees? The answer, of course, is yes. But Envy doesn't care. One finger points dramatically out at the Strong Arm Alchemist. "My rampages shall continue until the end of time! These bees, they are beings of EVIL! If I had the chance, I WOULD PUNCH EVERY BEE IN THE FACE! You - you are merely a stepping stone on the way to the temple of the ancient ritual of bee-killing slaughter!"
There's a temple now? Maybe. What else are Lady Bee-Slaughter's worshipers doing?
Nevermind that. "It is /you/ who shall fall today!"
Johnny, Nick, and Miles all.. Stare, at Armstrong for a few minutes. "..What the…" "..This won't end well, will it Johnny." "I sincerely doubt it will, Nick." "LOOK OUT JOHNNY, THE BE-" Nick stopped mid-scream when Miles swatted a bunch of zombie bees away with his tails. "Why don't you guys have a more protected booth, again?" "Really cheap producers." "Aha."
"Well Nick, I hope our insurance is paid up, because it looks like we're in for one Hell of a brutal, bee-splattered fight." "Indeed we are, Johnny! Miles, what can you tell us about the combatants?" After looking around for more bees, Miles went on to speak. "Well Nick, Armstrong is terrifically powerful, he sparkles, and he has some unusual pseudo-scientific or pseudo-magical powers up his sleeve. I didn't get to see all the rules, but I believe our ring *has* been set up to allow him to use them, right?" "I'm.. Not entirely sure. Maybe?" Johnny grumbled, "Damn producers never tell us what we need to know.." "Well that's not important. What is important is that Armstrong is a vicious opponent in close combat, he makes good use of his strength and his size. As for Lady Bee-Slaughter.. Looks somehow familiar.. But you can tell just by looking that she's incredibly fast, agile, though probably not as brutally strong as Alex. I wouldn't put it past her to use some of those bees as weapons too."
Johnny and Nick nodded, before the light turned to Judge Mills Lane. "Alright ladies, I want a good clean fight, and if any of these bees start attacking me I'm kicking *both* your asses. You ready?"
Armstrong straightens up, hmphing, the microphone is twirled before he nods to the Judge. "Of course." He says, "Are these the wonderful muscles of a man who would resort to underhanded tactics to win?!"
He seems pretty serious about that, though his eyes are narrowed at En— Lady Bee Slaughter. "You'll never win, Lady Bee Slaughter! Your genocidal ways will be put to an end now, by the awesome distraction technique passed down through the Armstrong family for generations!"
He suddenly gasps, and points behind the Judge, "OH NO! LOOK! A WASP!"
He bellows, and the Judge turns for a split second…
… And that microphone is -hurled- through the air with shocking strength and speed, aiming to bounce right off the bee-hating villains forehead!
Alex Armstrong missed Envy with his BONK! weak attack! (Experimental)
"Yeah, sure, whatever," agrees Lady Bee-Slaughter with hardly a glance spared towards the judge. Armstrong's speech and determined words do little to impress 'her'. "Uhuh. I'm gonna turn into a perfect bastion of all things good an bee-friendly once this fight is over. You'll sure show me."
The supposed distraction technique doesn't work, either. Eyes narrowing, Envy asks, "Don't you listen? I'm Lady /Bee/-Slaughter, not Lady Wasp-Slaughter." A simple headtilt to the side allows the microphone to sail harmlessly past. The Lady yawns exaggeratedly.
The feigned boredom disappears quickly. "You can try to throw things at me, but what happens when I turn your bees against you?" No chance to answer - the homunculus simply leaps high into the air. A hand snatches out at a group of the burning type. A flip through the air… The hand smacks down at the alchemist's forehead! It's just enough to cause a few beestings, and maybe some small burns, should it hit.
Envy hit Alex Armstrong with his It burns and stings! FLAMING BEES! weak attack! <Experimental>
"Wow! I wasn't expecting that out of Armstrong." "Unfortunately, Lady Bee-Slaughter seems to be a little cleverer than that. Holy.. Did she just grab a handful of flaming bees?!" "So it would appear, Nick. What do you make of this, Miles?" "Well Johnny, normally I'd say they're testing each others strengths and weaknesses by employing swift, low strength attacks. Checking each other for sign of weakness. ..On the other hand, I really can't tell if that's what they're doing. They may well just be toying with each other."
Armstrong blinks slightly, and then yelps as flaming bees splash over his head. The large man swats them away in an irritated manner, angered by the burning marks on his forehead. Two fingers come together to snuff out the burning forelock, and he cracks his knuckles. "Hmph. Very well." He states, and snatches some of his own sparkling bees out of the air about his head.
"Enough games!" He roars, and throws the stunned little pink critters into the air, before bringing his gauntlet-clad fist around in a powerful arc. They connect, and the little bees are sent tearing through the air towards Lady Bee-Slaughter, tears streaming from their faces as the sparkling missiles seek to stick themselves stinger-first into 'her'.
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his SPARKLY STINGER TECHNIQUE! strong attack! <Experimental>
As soon as the bees have hit their mark, Lady Bee-Slaughter leaps back to the opposite side of the ring. Cue a smirk. "You weren't expecting that, were you? Burn, alchemist-man! Burn!" Arms crossing over chest, the Lady simply watches until the flaming bees have all been swatted away.
Armstrong's next move is a bit more confusing. One eyebrow raising skeptically, Envy asks, "You're not going to try my own technique against me, are you? That's just stup—" Then the fist impacts the bees. Before the pseudo-palm tree can even dodge, they lodge into skin, an act made more painful by the extra force behind them.
"Gyahh! Stupid bees! I'll kill them!" The Lady tears the sparkly, pink insects free, then promptly throws them to the floor of the ring. Cue stomping. "Die, die!" Can we say obsessed? The homunculus doesn't. Merely looking back to the alchemist once the bees are dead, those violet eyes narrow into a glare. "No games, eh? Fine. I won't hold back!"
Yet another leap follows, this time without any fancy acrobatics to accompany it. Armstrong is the target; Envy's aim is to tackle the much larger man down to the floor.
Envy hit Alex Armstrong with his Now you can say you've been tackled by a palm tree! strong attack! <Experimental>
Armstrong grunts as he hits the floor, the large man sent sprawling by the sudden attack of the (surprisingly strong!) creature. He hits the bee hard, and finds himself dangling over the side, the Strong Arm Alchemist grunting as he strains and shoves against the coconut-clad homunculus!
"Allow me… to demonstrate…" He growls "The beautiful method of alchemy…" Straining, now, eyes closed with concentration, "Passed down through my family…" And you can /feel/ the tension in the air, "FOR GENERATIONS!"
Sparkles suddenly erupt into being, bright and pink, they dance and twirl, and aim to embed themselves directly in Envy's eyes! The true strength of the Armstrong Family method of Alchemy revealed at last, should the sparkles find their mark, Armstrong will simply shove Envy off him heavily, and roll up to his feet, trying to catch his breath after such a draining technique!
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his S is for Sparkle! stun attack! <Experimental>
And there's that smirk again as the Strong Arm Alchemist is successfully tackled down to the back of the giant bee serving as a ring. Envy's grip is hard to break. The demonstration offer isn't well-received. "Alchemy? Pfft. You won't be able to transmute anything once you fall to your death! That ground, so far down, it'll make a nice landing pad, don't you think?" Momentarily, Lady Bee-Slaughter lifts 'her' hands away from Armstrong. A white glow appears at the wrists, traveling up to the ends of the fingers -
- "AGHH MY EYES!" Hands now in the form of fly-swatters (or perhaps bee-swatters?), the Lady tries to dig the sparkles out. There's not any move to block the shove. Whump! Envy smacks back-first into the 'floor'.
"Damn sparkles! Get out of my eyes! Can't - grr - see!" The only trouble is, bee-swatters aren't as good for removing them as normal hands would be.
Armstrong hmphs, looking down at the Lady. He shakes his head, "I couldn't agree more, Lady Bee-Slaughter!" He declares loudly, "So, let's finish this! With the famous Armstrong Family Homunculus-Punting technique, passed down through my family be great uncle Alfred, who died three years ago perfecting the technique against an angry Homunculus…" He takes a few steps back, to get a decent run up, and pauses for a moment.
"This would probably be more effective if you were Envy or something, but, never mind! It'll do to finish you off!"
And then he's running forwards at full tilt, draws his leg back at the last moment, and aims to slam his foot right into the gut of the unfortunate Envy and his… her… its convincing disguise! The resulting punt would likely hurl Envy right into the air… and into the oncoming path of a cloud of those deadly ZOMBIE BEES!
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his No, really, that's a technique. Poor Alfred. strong attack! <Experimental>
"Graagh! Stupid sparkles! Stupid pink! I'll kill that color too!" How exactly does one kill a color? … That's not important! Lady Bee-Slaughter merely continues rubbing at 'her' eyes with the bee-swatters, which slowly seems to be working.
But not fast enough. All that stuff about the Homunculus-punting technique? Yeah, Envy didn't hear a bit of it. Or if he(?) did, not the least bit of attention was paid to it. PUNT!
The Lady - eyesight finally restored - is sent sailing through the air! As if being kicked weren't enough, the beestings only add to the aggravation and pain. Fortunately the bee-swatters manage to knock them away before the Lady is infected with zombie bee-ism. No calls for 'bzzzzains' here!
In the process, however, many of those bees get swatted towards Armstrong! Which was the original point of having the bee-swatters. Though not quite as strong as the alchemist, there's still a good bit of force behind each smack.
What about Envy's current position, though? Isn't this about the time that the homunculus would be sent hurtling to the earth thanks to gravity? Well, it /should/, but some forceful flips and mid-air spins help prevent that. How? Does it matter? Lady Bee-Slaughter is sent back towards one of the other giant bees in the area, which is subsequently used as a launch pad. One leap off its side… More flipping and turning… And Envy lands skillfully back in the ring.
Envy missed Alex Armstrong with his So that's what those bee-swatters were for strong attack! (Experimental)
Armstrong simply -parries- the undead bees, blocking and bouncing them away from him with his gauntlets. Little sparks are sent flying with each one, and by the time Envy lands in the ring again, he's obviously a little bit more tired. This was hard work! Trying to bring down he dreaded bee-elemental with only incredibly family techniques and hundreds of years of alchemical knowledge. He was clearly outmatched, so, he needed an equalizer.
What equalizer might that be? Well… he slips his gauntlet off, and brings the other one onto it hard, forming a folding chair in a bright crackle of alchemical light. Somewhere, someone, possibly even the -bees- is crying out in delight.
"He's got the chair! He's got the chair!"
And then he's rushing forwards, aiming to break the chair over that palm-tree-head! THUMP!
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his THE CHAIR! moderate attack! <Experimental>
Nick comes to his feet, "WHOA!! Johnny I bet that rung his bells!!" Diamond goes as he sees Envy get laid into by the foriegn object.
"Indeed Nick. I guess we can say this has been tabled."
"…..So didn't work Johnny."
That's not a bee elemental! That's a bugspray elemental! Can't you smell the smelly smell of bugspray that surrounds the Lady, like cheap perfume but worse? Better make sure you get it right, or the Lady's crazed worshipers just may come after you!
Threats of enraged cultists aside, Envy simply points one hand-turned-bee-swatter out at the alchemist. "Think you could beat me that easily, did you? I am Lady Bee-Slaughter! It is th bees who fall from /my/ blows; I shall never die by them!"
A chair, on the other hand, is certainly not a bee. There's a blink, another, and then the homunculus finally brings up his… her… whichever… arms, holding them protectively over <pronoun here>'s skull. The chair smashes down, getting a grunt, but at least the Lady's head is safe.
The arms swing up to knock the broken chair aside. Meanwhile, the white light reappears… And when it's gone, the bee-swatters are hands once more. What next? Envy grabs the coconut ornaments hanging at the sides of his/her head, then throws them at the alchemist!
Envy missed Alex Armstrong with his Coconut: Tasty treat, or deadly weapon? moderate attack! (Experimental)
Armstrong darts back quickly, and grabs the coconut as it sails past his ear. The Strong Arm Alchemist smiles, his eyes going quite wide. Of course, no doubt the real danger here was not the stupidly long drop to the ground below, or the deadly attacks being traded with one another… but the letters that are going to be pouring in to complain about the fact that, for a few brief moments, the display had declared that Lady Bee-Slaughter was a bee-elemental! Surely the volumes of mail would bury the poor recipient in a papery grave.
Not that Armstrong is worried about this of course. No, he has far more important things to do… like charge forward suddenly, and aim to force that coconut right into Envy's mouth! Should that succeed, he'll deliver a crushing uppercut, and force Envy to experience not only the pain of being used like some kind of giant (coco)nut-cracker, but also of having a mouth full of coconut milk, and hairy coconut!
Truly, the Strong Arm Alchemist is resorting to some underhanded tactics to win this fight!
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his The answer is c) BOTH! strong attack! <Experimental>
Whatever happened to the judge? Wasn't he supposed to be here to prevent such techniques from being used? It's too late now, in any case.
The trouble isn't so much that Armstrong caught the coconut. If he simply intends to reverse the attack, Envy can duck out of the way easily enough. But that's not it! Too late, the homunculus realizes the attack is something more direct, and before any sort of leap or duck can be performed, the coconut is smashed into his(?) mouth! "Grmvgh!"
Wisely stated though that protest may be, it does nothing to prevent the uppercut. The Lady stumbles back, hands reaching up to pull bits of crushed coconut shell from 'her' mouth.
Armstrong's not the only one playing dirty. This may be Lady Bee-Slaughter, but it's also Envy! One hand curls into a fist; the other holds the shards of coconut shell. One punch to palm later, the shell is dust and even smaller shards… Which get flung towards the Strong Arm Alchemist's eyes!
Envy missed Alex Armstrong with his S is for coconut shell! … Kind of. Maybe. Shut up. stun attack! (Experimental)
Armstrong dives back, and is surprised as the shards of coconut are sent hurtling his way. The Strong Arm Alchemist straightens up suddenly, and -FLEXES- with all his might, his muscles bulge greatly, and the dust of the coconut patters off his gleaming form, his eyes staring up at Envy challengingly. A smirk appears for a moment, and then, quite suddenly, a heavy hand is laid upon his shoulder by the Judge.
"Alright, buddy, that's twice you've used a foreign object. I'm going to have to dis—"
And suddenly the Judge is hefted up, scooped up by the Strong Arm Alchemist, he is -HURLED- at Envy with all of his might, "Ah! Thank you! A volunteer for the Armstrong Family Judge Throwing Technique, passed down through my family since that unfortunate incident with Judge Armstrong and the Cousins at the Armstrong Family Get Together ten years ago!"
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his Deadly? You be the… JUDGE?! Oh, I kill me. moderate attack! <Experimental>
Envy stares back disbelievingly at the alchemist. "You… You can't be serious. You -flexed- the shell away?" One eyebrow quirks up, then lowers back as the Judge steps into the ring. Now it's a smirk that curves the Lady's lips. … For a second. All too soon the smug satisfaction turns to 'oh hell he's not going to - oh hell he is' wide-eyed, open-mouthed surprise. WHUMP. That's the sound the Judge makes when it hits the homunculus.
"Grrraaagh!!" It's with that impassioned growl that the Lady clambers to her feet, Judge held aloft above 'her'. "You think you can win with that kind of attack? I'll show you! You and all these bees!" One mighty heave, and the Judge is sent flying for Armstrong.
Whether it hits or not, it's clear at this point that the homunculus is losing energy - but none of the passion that drives him/her/it/?.
Envy hit Alex Armstrong with his Judge not, lest ye be judged! moderate attack! <Experimental>
Armstrong grunts as he is hit by the Judge, and sent staggering back a few steps under the impact. He hefts the hapless man, who is definitely looking worse for wear, and shakes his head slightly. "Hmph!" He declares loudly, carefully dusting the Judge down for a moment, and shining his head for a moment.
"You may say that I cannot win with this kind of technique, but this technique is the perfect expression of the Armstrong family determination! To work together, two, as one, and beat down all those who would stand in our way! Together, there isn't anything we cannot defeat, with our muscles singing a song of determination and effort, we'll bring you down! Isn't that right, Judge?!" And now the Judge has one massive arm wrapped around his shoulders.
"No… please… ribs, broken… losing… blood, going to—" He hacks and coughs.
"OF COURSE IT IS!" Armstrong roars, and just scoops the judge up, grabbing him by the legs. "Now! Prepare yourself, Lady Bee-Slaughter! Because this beautiful technique expresses the bond of love and companionship only TRUE men can understand!"
And with that, despite the shrieking wails of the Judge, Armstrong tears forwards, and swings the unfortunate referee like an impromptu club!
Alex Armstrong missed Envy with his TEAMWORK! uber attack! (Experimental)
Lady Bee-Slaughter backs up along the giant bee serving as the ring. There's no move to interrupt Armstrong's speech, simply quiet as the supposed bugspray elemental works up 'her' energy to keep going. Nonetheless, the words have little effect. The Lady's eyes narrow, mouth curling into a frown, a silent expression of 'spare me your inspirational crap'.
Giving Envy that chance to rest wasn't a good idea! Why? Because the homunculus can dodge now! One well-timed, upward leap clears him(?) of the Judge-club. It serves a dual purpose. When heading downward, the Lady's long legs kick towards the Judge's head. If the Judge is knocked towards the 'floor', hopefully Armstrong will be pulled along with him, their combined momentum adding to the impact.
That's not it! So long as the kick worked, Envy would then leap up from the man, using him as a launch pad. One mid-air flip… Then down go those feet again, this time for the alchemist's skull!
And if that works, one finally jump would allow the homunculus to land safely on <pronoun>'s feet behind the felled men.
Envy missed Alex Armstrong with his Screw teamwork; I have feet! uber attack! (Experimental)
The poor Judge has his head used as a launch pad, and at the same time Armstrong lets go, surprised, and the man is flung off the side of the bee by the momentum. Armstrong, however, fully demonstrates his own impressive agility, as he tumbles back, Envy's feet going wild as he rolls along the bee, and hmmms, standing up, he seems to consider the situation. Lady Bee-Slaughter was obviously getting her second wind. What could he use against her?
And then he gets it! Completely ignoring his erstwhile clubs pleas as he tumbles towards the ground, Armstrong grabs a wing of the giant bee, and wrenches it free with a mighty grunt! The bee shrieks with rage and pain, and begins to slow-motion tumble out of the sky, but Armstrong doesn't care… he just had to win the match before they hit the ground, and it'd all be alright!
That mighty wing is brought around -hard-, aiming to smash the 'bugspray elemental' like a mighty flyswatter!
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his Envy-swatter? strong attack! <Experimental>
It… missed? All that missed? (Save the kick to the Judge, anyway.) Envy, once safely standing on the bee again, sends a frustrated, angry glare towards the alchemist. "Stay still! If it wasn't for this overpowering, irrational bee hatred, I'd have killed you earlier. But no, you had to rally them to your cause, using their distracting buzzing noises to keep me from hitting you! I won't let you get away with—"
Did he just tear the bee's wing off? Lady Bee-Slaughter stops mid-sentence, staring with disbelief. And then comes the wing. Whumpf! It certainly hit hard - hard enough to send the bugspray elemental flying off to the bee towards the earth!
Wait… No… A flash of white light, labored flapping noises… It is! Envy appears, arms now in the form of wings to match that of the giant bee. Somehow, through a hell of a lot of arm-waving (wing-waving?), he/she's managed to stay aloft. Once back on the tumbling bee, the homunculus leaps forward at Armstrong. Then go the wings again, allowing a moment to hover. Next are the feet, aiming one, two, three kicks at the Strong Arm Alchemist's face.
Envy hit Alex Armstrong with his Lady Bee-Slaughter, now part bee for enhanced face-kicking action! strong attack! <Experimental>
There is a moment of satisfaction, and then, suddenly, the world is full of feet! Armstrong grits his teeth, surprised by the sudden appearance of the winged-Envy. He is really annoyed by this, he'd won, damnit! He'd had to kill the Ref to do it, and he'd had to tear off his own ring, but, he'd won! And suddenly there was this bugspray elemental, kicking him in the face! Gah!
Armstrong flails against the more agile opponent, his hands seeking to grab hold of any part of 'her' that he could, even though he was rapidly losing his footing on the unstable giant bee, he still tries to grab hold of the annoying shapeshifter… if he could just manage to grab hold of her, well, one hand would then try to snatch one of those wings, and he'd just /YANK/ with all of his might!
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his Sadistic Child Attack! strong attack! <Experimental>
Finally! Envy's trademark crazy grin-smirk appears as the kicks smack into Armstrong's face. "I told you! I'll kill you!" the androgynous figure yells out. … Except it's kind of hard to delivery foot-y death when your feet get grabbed. The grin disappears in an instant. "Lemme /go/!" The wings go flailing, not strong enough to lift them both.
Not that wing strength matters now. 'Strong Arm' isn't just a fancy title; it's based in reality, as is proved when Envy's wing-arm is pulled off. Cue a rather pained scream.
White light appears, and soon the other wing is now just an arm again. Lady Bee-Slaughter, no longer part bee, tries to pull free of the alchemist's grip. In the meanwhile, 'she'… appeals to the bees?
"Oh swarms of stinging, buzzing irritation! I call upon you! I have brought you death and slaughter in the past, but that's not important right now! Listen, for this man, this alchemist, he lied! He tried to champion your cause, and what happens? He uses you as weapons! He tears off your wings! Heed me, and exact revenge against him!"
If the plea works - and Envy /is/ a good actor when he… whatever it is… needs to be - the bees should swarm around Armstrong and deliver a plague of stinging pain!
Envy hit Alex Armstrong with his The bees wouldn't really listen to Lady Bee-Slaughter, would they…? strong attack! <Experimental>
Armstrong blinks as, suddenly, he finds his legions of bees suddenly turned against him by the persuasive words of Lady Bee-Slaughter. The large alchemist doesn't let go, however, even as he is stung and bitten and attacked, he just tightens his grip. And suddenly he springs from the ring, and comes -SMASHING- into the announcers table. Hopefully, he's managed to hold on to Envy through this.
Because if he has, his gauntlet-clad fist raises. "Alright, you like to order my bees around so much, it's time for me to unveil my super-secret finishing technique!" His fist clenches tight, and the light just -glistens- off it.
"This is the Armstrong Family Ironic Ending technique, passed down through my family for generations, perfected when my brother Alberto Armstrong -exploded- himself in a Flex-Off match against me two decades ago, it is time for you to meet your end in the most fitting way, LADY BEE SLAUGHTER!"
And then his fist smashes forwards, aiming to slam right into Envy's face. And because this is just a simulation, and, let's face it, the guy who programmed this doesn't really know how alchemy works, if the blow hits… alchemical energy will crackle over everything, and all that will be left, is a perfectly ordinary bee, well, mostly ordinary. It'll still have a fine head of palmtree-shaped hair.
Alex Armstrong missed Envy with his Don't 'bee' bitter, HAH! epic attack! (Experimental)
Lady Bee-Slaughter isn't really listening. All that time spent talking? All that blabbering on about family techniques and explosions and flexing? It just means more chances for the Lady to work free of the alchemist's grip. Finally, right before that fist comes swinging, 'she' breaks free! It's so hard to keep hold of that fine, feminine figure, you know.
Crazy acrobatics again come into play, spins and flips sending the homunculus flying through the air back towards the giant, one-winged bee that served as a ring. Arms do take a while to grow back, even with regeneration of Envy's level… But that doesn't mean feet can't work. White light appears at the Lady's knees, traveling down to the feet. Spikes are left once the shapeshifting is complete. They lodge into the de-winged side of the bee. And the arm that didn't get torn off? More white light, and then it appears as a wing once more!
"You, giant freaky bee thing! That alchemist tore off your wing, just as he tore off mine! Our pain is mutual! Now, now is your turn for revenge! With my other wing to help you fly, go, zoom at that alchemist and destroy him!"
And if his acting skills override the pain of being pierced with spikes, the giant bee would then dive towards Armstrong, intending not only to smack into him, but make the eventual crash into the earth all the more painful!
Envy missed Alex Armstrong with his Kamikaze Giant Bee Dive! epic attack! (Experimental)
Armstrong hmphs as the bee comes charging in for him, and adjusts his gauntlet once more. "Okay… let's finish this!" He declares loudly, and -leaps- from the ruins of the desk. His arms outstretched, he collides with the giant bee- many times his own size, and does something very, very strange indeed. Tightening his grip on the massive bulk, Armstrong strains, and the massive bee is lifted up over his head. Veins bulge on his body as he puts all of his strength into the maneuver…
And attempts to bring the giant be down on top of the -other- bee which was used to house the commentators, the huge buzzing insect smashing into the other one, and, hopefully, sandwiching Envy between them at the same time!
Alex Armstrong hit Envy with his Bee Pancake! strong attack! <Experimental>
Envy has been knocked out!
Envy cackles madly as the bee flies towards Armstrong. "SEE! I TOLD YOU I'D KILL YOU! YOU'LL DIE! YOU'LLYou'llLET GO OF THE BEE!" The homunculus, once so confident, now frantically tries to pull his spike-legs free of the giant insect. The wing turns back into an arm, pressing against the bee's side for leverage. But all that fighting they've done… All the damage suffered… There's just not enough energy left for the Lady to do it.
Smush.
And that's the end of that.
DING DING DING!
And suddenly the camera zooms right up to Armstrong, standing triumphant atop the downed giant bee, he strikes a dramatic pose, and the words shine out underneath.
Armstrong Wins: By Technical Knockout.
